Debby Tucker
As the mother of two beautiful young daughters, I hope and pray that they will find someone who is caring, loving, and responsible.
Unfortunately, this is not always the case.
Many years ago, before I wrote Getting ME Back, on one particular brisk autumn morning as I prepared for class, I heard a commotion coming from the hallway. At first, I thought it was two students fighting or yelling at each other. But when I heard the sound of a female student screaming in pain and the thump of lockers, I knew something was wrong.
I rushed into the hallway, dropping books and papers along the way, only to stop midstride in shock. One of my most intelligent handsome male students had both hands around his girlfriend’s neck pushing her roughly into the lockers over and over again.
I could not believe what I was seeing and it took me a few precious seconds to react. When I reached them, the female student kept insisting nothing was wrong and pleading with her boyfriend: “Don’t be mad at me.”
She said this over and over again. I intervened and sent him to the office by himself. I had to give her time to collect herself, but she refused to say anything negative about him. Her only comments came in gasps and whispers.
After a few minutes of questioning, I realized that she truly believed the incident was all her fault. Even in the principal’s office with her eyes red and puffy she insisted that they were only playing.
I have seen this before a million times at home, on movies, in college, on television shows, heck across the street where I grew up. The women – beat up and battered – loyally defending their attacker with meager excuses and denials.
But never had I seen this kind of abuse in the eighth grade.
When I wrote Getting Me Back, I never imagined that I would get so many comments from female readers stating that they had experienced something along the same lines themselves. They could relate to my young female character, Linda, and they could relate at a young age.
With teenagers searching for acceptance and validation, it is important to set boundaries when in a relationship, know what a healthy relationship is, have the confidence to remove yourself from the abuse, and seek help from people who know how to help.
While searching the Internet, I came across a wonderful website full of helpful tips and resources for domestic and sexual violence.
Deborah D. Tucker is the executive director of the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence located in Austin, Texas. She has dedicated her life to ending violence since she volunteered in a rape crisis center many years ago. Her leadership on the Texas Council was the driving force in creating the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
She is passionate and caring and was very receptive to my many questions.
For the more information on Teen Violence, please visit: NCDSV, Resources, Links, Teen Dating Violence and NCDSV, Resources, Publications, Teen Dating Violence.
You can also find a Domestic and Sexual Violence Resource list here: http://www.ncdsv.org/images/NCDSV_DVandSA%20Resources_purple_9-30-11.pdf
For general information or to seek help, please visit: National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence, www.ncdsv.org.