Venture Galleries Blog for Readers and Writers

Last One Chosen

How about those How-To Books?

 

 

 

One of the most popular book categories is the tried and true “how-to” book.

We all love them, don’t we?

As part of my massive research for this blog (okay, as my only research for this blog), I went on the Kindle store and searched for some how-tos.

This is just a small sampling.  I have annotated them for you, but feel free to disregard my comments.

How to Decrease Stomach Acid (Let me guess: Don’t eat Mexican food for supper five times per week?)

How to Catch Fish (This book is  full of lies.)

How to Be Sexy (Somethings are impossible for some of us. Don’t waste your money.)

How to Cook a Hamburger (Wait ’til it burns on one side, then flip it over?)

How to Write a Novel (There are lot of those, by the way.  It’s too late for me.  You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.)

How to Win Friends and Influence People ( I should have read this before my last school board race.)

How to Avoid Really Stupid Mistakes (Stay in bed all day?)

How to Write Your Memoirs (Start with doing something in your life that is worth telling?)

How To Ruin a Reputation (Hang out with me?)

How to Alienate People ( I made that one up, but someone needs to write it.)

How to Read a Book (Makes you wonder how we got along without that for so long, doesn’t it?)

How to Study the Bible (Co-authored by the Apostle Paul)

How to Find a Job (Someone contact the Romney and Obama campaigns.)

How to Meet  a Guy at the Supermarket (Thanks, but no thanks.)

How to Read Literature Like a Professor (A professor of what?)

How to Drive a Dragon Crazy ( I liked that one a lot.  But you should buy How to Build a Fireproof Suit first.)

How to Budget (I’ll pick that one up next time I have a little extra cash.)

How to Be a Woman (See my remarks on the supermarket meeting book above.)

How to Box (I thought that would come in handy for Christmas gift-wrapping until I realized it had something to do with fist-fighting.  But now that I think about it, I can see how the two are related.)

How to Improve Your Memory (I can’t remember if I read that one.)

How to Blog (I know. I should have read that one a year ago.)

How to Apply Zombie Makeup Like a Pro (I didn’t realize how out of touch I had become with American culture.)

How to Survive the End of the World (I’ll get back to you on December 22, 2012.)

Okay.  Now that I have given you just a small taste of what is out there in the how-to library, I think it’s time we added some of our own.

What are a couple of new how-to books you’d like to see on the Kindle store?

Oh, and by the way, just for fun you might want to watch the video from the guy who wrote How To Avoid Shooting Yourself in the Foot. (You’ll just have to see it.)

httpv://youtu.be/wzY1_h1odJ8

 

 

 

, , , , , , , ,

  • http://twitter.com/CalebPirtle Caleb Pirtle

    Here are my problems with “how to” books, regardless of how popular they are. I don’t know how to do anything, so I can’t write one. I don’t want to know how to do anything, so I don’t read them.

  • http://twitter.com/DigitalBkToday Anthony Wessel

    Missed one. How To Write Create Comments on Blog Posts.
    I think I will need to pick that one up.

    • http://www.venturegalleries.com Stephen Woodfin

      Yeah, and the sequel: How To Write Sarcastic Replies to Sincere Blog Comments Without Alienating People Who Took Some of Their Precious Time to Read The Stupid Stuff I Wrote in My Blog

  • http://twitter.com/jackdrsm Jack Durish

    Thank you for a great laugh. Really. LMAO! I had something constructive to say, but I can’t, not now.

    • http://www.venturegalleries.com Stephen Woodfin

      Jack, you should have seen some of the titles I culled. LOL

  • http://twitter.com/jvonbargen Jo VonBargen

    We all want to know how to do everything. The problem is, when you read these books, they usually don’t know any more than you do. We really have most of what we need to know in our own gut. Need to trust and depend more on our instinct. Thanks for the chuckle, though!

  • http://twitter.com/CarsonCanada Christina Carson

    I was curious about How to be a Woman. I guess I didn’t realize we XX sorts had a choice. Maybe I need to read that one. And that last one is strangely oxymoronic. Stephen you’re a hoot.

  • Julie

    Wow, do you ever get my How-to wheels spinning, Stephen. Fun Blog — thanks!

    • http://www.venturegalleries.com Stephen Woodfin

      Julie, thanks for commenting. Now that you have thought about it, what are some how to books you would like to see written?